child self defense

Bullying and Martial Arts

Every parent wants their child to have friends, get along with their peers, and feel safe and secure when they go to school, camp, the playground, or to any other social setting. One of a parent’s worst fears is that their child will become the victim of a bully. Not only does bullying cause immediate physical injuries, a study released by the National Institute of Health in 2015 found that it can lead to numerous long term negative effects, including anxiety, emotional trauma, and psychological conditions that can last into adulthood.

The most effective way to keep your child safe from bullies is to equip them with the tools they need to be safe, confident, and secure, no matter the situation. Some of these tools involve developing a social sense for danger and insight into what others’ actions might be, knowing when and how to remove themselves from risky situations, and having the diplomatic skills to resolve conflicts peacefully. But an essential tool is also having the physical training and discipline required to defend themselves if necessary. Formal instruction in the martial arts provides one of the best means to develop all of these skills.

The following are some of the specific ways martial arts training can help keep your child safe from bullies.

Self-Defense Maneuvers. Martial art students develop a range of self-defense maneuvers that they can use in a variety of different settings and situations. That flexibility is key to being prepared for bullying. There is a common misconception that these traditions promote violence, but any martial art is really about preventing violence—including the violence perpetrated by bullies. When someone has been trained in these traditions, they will have the strategies necessary to keep themselves, and others, safe. They will be able to resist the temptation to respond emotionally to being struck and will know how to get back up again and respond with strategic protective maneuvers rather than anxiety or fear. And in practicing those maneuvers, they will develop the physical fitness, muscle power, coordination and dexterity, and stamina to stand up to bullies with confidence.

Communicating Confidence. When a child has learned a martial art, they communicate a sense of confidence. Even if they feel fear, they know how to manage that fear. It is important that they do not antagonize or challenge the bully, but they also need to send a message that they are not going to tolerate being harassed. An upright core, squared shoulders, focused eyes, and firm stance tell bullies that this person is not going to be intimidated. Most bullies look for easy prey; someone who knows how to defend themselves and who conveys that through body language can dissuade opportunity attackers. Taking deep, steady breaths creates a calm and composed body, and makes your child prepared to defuse the situation with words rather than violence.

Scenario Preparation. In most martial art training, students learn by role-playing different kinds of self-defense scenarios. Role-playing is one of the most effective methods for teaching because it provides practical, active learning opportunities, which helps students better retain and understand the content being learned. When students learn how defend themselves by practicing exactly how they should behave in a given situation, that response eventually becomes instinctual. And when self-defense becomes instinctual, students grow their capacity for self-confidence and reduce the severity of anxiety caused by facing a potentially dangerous situation.

Calculated Response. An essential element of martial art training is developing a mindset that responds to threats with restraint, calm, and calculated evaluation. Instead of lashing out in anger or fear, a child who has learned a martial art uses quick thinking to establish distance from the situation and use that perspective to determine the safest way to resolve the situation. Being able to recognize options, trace the chain of cause and effect for each course of action, and identify the best choice reduces the likelihood of physical fighting and potential injury.

Structured Time. Because gaining skill in a martial art takes time, the classes, exercises, and other activities associated with their training will provide your child with a considerable amount of structure time. Not only does this help your child develop self-responsibility, time management, and planning skills, it can also keep them busy and in a safe environment after school or on weekends—the two times when most bullying occurs. In addition, because training occurs in classes and usually centers on collaborative exercises, your child will build close friendships with other children who are also prepared to stand up to bullies alongside them. There is strength in numbers.

Every bully is, at heart, a coward. They will typically avoid confrontations with someone whom they determine to be a potential danger, who seems mature and confident, or who looks like they could effectively protect themselves. You do not want your child to deliberately provoke a bully, but at the same time it is essential that he or she is able both to stand their ground with confidence to deter a fight and, if a fight does happen, to back up that position with effective self-defensive moves. If other children in the community know that your child has self-defense training, that reputation alone can be enough to disincentivize bullies from bothering them.

Children who know how to defend themselves know that they are going to be safe, which helps them to manage self-doubt, build self-respect and respect for others, and instill a sense of discipline. They know how to stand up for others and defend those who cannot defend themselves. And they are more likely to keep the lines of communication open with you and other caregiving adults because they will not feel a sense of shame, embarrassment, or humiliation if they do end up being bullied. These are all skills that are not only of use in a fight, or in defusing a fight: they are social skills that will serve your child throughout their lives.

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The Benefits of Martial Arts

Martial arts is said to be an engaging and fun way for children to let off some steam. There are plenty of classes to choose from. Whether it is aikido, karate, judo, tae kwon do, or many others, there is a class out there for any of your child’s needs. But there is so much more to these classes than simple fighting and kicking. There are invaluable lessons that children can learn in order to make them better people in their life outside of practice. If you are curious about these benefits, check out the following reasons to sign your child up for a class as soon as possible:

Staying Fit

Fitness is an important part of any young child’s lifestyle. It helps keep growing children strong and healthy during a crucial part of their development. Regular exercise is also important for maintaining emotional balance, offering both an outlet for stress and anger. This is especially important for young children, who often have too much energy to stay indoors all day.

Martial arts classes come with all sorts of exercise and strength building routines. Jumping jacks and stretching is one of the most common warm ups during a class. Push-ups and constant movement often compliment this, in order to keep muscles flexible and tone. This also ensures that children will not get hurt as their fighting techniques get more advanced.

Learning to Defending Yourself

We all know the importance of being able to stand up to an attacker. Children are no different. Being that small can make you feel vulnerable, but having knowledge of a fighting style helps build confidence in children that can help them defend themselves. Most of us have been in a situation where we wish our knowledge of fighting could have helped us out of it. With enough training, children do not have to be scared of people just because they are physically bigger than them.

Make no mistake, however, children are not encouraged or taught as a way to start random fights. Every child is taught the importance of avoiding conflict and problem solving without resorting to violence. What makes these techniques so powerful is that the more advanced a child’s knowledge of them, the less likely they are to needlessly start a fight.

The Art of Self Discipline

In the end, fitness is really only a small part of the craft. The most important part of any martial art is the discipline with which a child approaches it. This is something that is enforced from their very first day on the mat. No child can progress without the proper control over themselves and their emotions.

The key to this art is mental focus. You must be able to concentrate on a singular task for however long it takes to complete. This is an important life skill for children to learn and can be frustrating at first. However, with time, many children are able to take what they learn and translate it into their everyday interactions.

A Deeply Engrained Respect

Quite possibly the biggest lesson that a child can learn through frequent practice is respect. While there is a fair amount of fighting, it is second to the lesson of respect that all those who enter a dojo must learn. When greeted with a master or someone senior to you, people are taught to bow to him or her. This also applies to instructors. It is only normal to show a level of deference to those who are teaching you.

We could all stand to learn from the lessons taught within these dojos. Children are made to treat each other just as they would want to be treated. Respect is repeated continuously, with students often repeating the mantras taught to them by their elders, both on and off the mat. Anyone who cannot show respect is asked to leave the dojo.

Confidence is Key

Any of us can remember how fragile our confidence was when we were a child. Being a child is an important part of your life where you build the most associations about yourself. As such, it’s important to have a sphere of people and activities that build you up. The benefits of these classes are that children are really encouraged to come out of their shell.

The emphasis is not on how you look or what anyone else is doing. Instead, you are taught to focus on your practice and improve incrementally, in your own time. A ranking system of belts helps children feel they are steadily improving in a way that they can see over time. This instills a rewards system for their hard work as well as gives them goals that they can get through time and diligence. Graduating to a new belt can be a huge experience for a child. The pride they feel stays with them for a long time after the fact.

Taking What Life Throws At You

So much of us try and shield children from the hard parts of life. Unfortunately, that is not a viable way to help children grow. Practicing on the mat and getting use to fighting can help children brace for many of the realities of life. Knowing how to take a hit, especially a hard one, and still get back up is a lesson that not many people learn even as adults.

Being able to rebound once you have fallen is the best thing a child can learn to do. It is a lesson they can carry to many areas of their lives. Whether it is getting grades in school, getting hurt by those around you, or losing at something you thought you would win, life will test children in many ways. Having the stillness and focus to sift through the emotions that accompany failure and grow will make them into hardworking and diligent adults who are ready to take on the world.

Marital arts can be a great way to positively use energy and keep kids entertained. The lessons they learn from classes can do so much more than keep them fit, however. A disciplined practice can teach children things they carry with them well beyond their childhood.

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